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A simple social media post caught my attention: a thank-you note for a gift accompanied by the phrase, “You’ve shown me there are still good people in this world.”
At first glance, it seemed typical, heartwarming even. “Ah, that’s sweet,” you might think before hitting ‘like’ and scrolling past. But for me, the phrase lingered all day, nagging at something I couldn’t quite identify. Then, as epiphanies often do, the answer hit me at 3 a.m.:
The world is already full of good people. Sometimes, we just fail to see them.
Perspective Shapes Our View of Goodness
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When I was 18, I had a close friend, let’s call her Sally. She was everything you’d want in a friend: funny, kind, and empathetic. But her other friends? I couldn’t stand them. No matter how hard I tried, we just didn’t get along.
I used to wonder: How could someone as wonderful as Sally not see how awful her friends were? To me, it was obvious – they were “bad” people.
Years later, I discovered something that changed my perspective. My best friend casually remarked, “Oh, that was when you’d really pissed me off. You were getting on my nerves.” Shocked, I must have looked crushed, because she quickly added, “What? Like I’ve never pissed you off? Everyone annoys each other sometimes, but I still love you.”
That moment taught me something invaluable: even good people have their flaws. No one is perfect, not me, not Sally’s friends, and not you (no matter how hard is to accept that). The difference lies in how much we value someone’s positive qualities over their imperfections.
Why We Misjudge Others
Sally’s friends weren’t “horrible” people, they were complex, just like everyone else. I was too blinded by my biases to see their good sides, just as they likely struggled to see mine. It’s easy to reduce people to black-and-white labels, but reality is far messier.
When we call someone a “good” person, we’re often projecting our own values onto them. It’s less about their character and more about how they align with our personal standards. This judgment isn’t inherently bad, it’s human, but it can blind us to the full picture.
The Social Media Echo Chamber
Social media amplifies this tendency. One person’s misstep can spiral into a moral judgment of their entire character. Take, for example, a video someone posted of a man losing his temper and using a racial slur. The comments escalated rapidly, branding him a wife-beater, an abusive colleague, and worse.
What he did was undeniably wrong, but the internet’s need to prove moral superiority overshadowed the offense itself. In the rush to condemn, any chance for redemption was lost.
Can People Change?
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Listening to podcasts like Ear Hustle has deepened my understanding of human complexity. The show explores the lives of inmates at San Quentin prison, many of whom have committed horrific crimes. Yet, many also express deep remorse and have transformed into better versions of themselves.
Despite this, society often views them as irredeemable. Their worst actions define them, even though their families might see them as fundamentally good people who made terrible mistakes.
This is why I hesitate to praise anyone for “showing me there are good people in the world.” Most people, even those who falter, strive to be good in their own way. Nobody wakes up thinking, “How can I hurt someone today?” Even those we criticize harshly typically believe they’re doing what’s right.
The Role of Ego in Judgment
I’d love to say I never judge others unfairly, but that’s not true. Like everyone, I have my moments of irrational anger or frustration. Sometimes, I even let others’ opinions sway me, a holdover from years of being a people-pleaser. But I’ve learned the hard way that you can’t please everyone.
To some, I’ll always be evidence of the “bad” in the world. And that’s okay.
Choose to See the Good
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It would be easy to dismiss people who upset me as “bad” or to write off the world because it doesn’t meet my expectations. But I try to remember Sally and my best friend. Their flaws don’t erase their goodness, just as mine don’t erase mine.
Adopting this mindset isn’t without risk. Sometimes, I get hurt. But the reward: believing in the inherent goodness of people: is worth it.
Because, despite what we might think, the world is full of good people. We just have to open our eyes to see them.
